5 Reasons Why You Haven't Met Mr. Right Yet (If You're a Single Female Lawyer)

I believe dating is both an art and a science. You get to be good at it when you put those theories in practice. It is not about the quantity though, it is more on being able to deal with different types of people and getting lessons from these experiences.  I am proud to have earned a masters, heh, which made me an expert in this topic. 

If you happen to be a single (female) lawyer who has less luck in finding Mr. Right, this post will definitely help you avoid scaring off potential men. As much as possible, avoid these 5  pitfalls.

I count a number of lawyer friends well into their early 30's, still single. One was a friend from high school.  Of course, the cupid in me offered to sort out the dating messes they have gotten themselves into.

We watch each others back through night outs, blind dates and stealth privacy in our cars in case of 'emergencies' if you know what I mean. Some of those friends might probably have a fit when they read this disclosure. Hi, sis! We are frenemies now.  All to no avail, she's still single as of this very minute.

Anyways, here are  5 reasons you haven't found Mr. Right yet.

I am the 'catch'

Confident ladies, I know you feel like you are slaying it to a T!  Being a lawyer has all its perks career-wise.   Add to that the extra boost of confidence gained from experience.

No doubt you are the ultimate catch.  But did you know that this same advantage could be your Achilles heel in acing the dating game?

Some enterprising males can single you out as easy prey. These experts, always on the prowl, are really good at what they do. I can assure you that years of legal practice won't be a guarantee to shield you from their wily charms.

The last thing you want is a man looking for an easy pass in life without needing to stretch a muscle. 

I know this lady lawyer who is so heady in love with a foreign guy from another third world country.  It made her blind she refused to see all the red flags.  

You know why? In her mind, she is the ultimate catch.  She firmly believes she is an Alpha female in the relationship.  

I just find it so ironic how she easily fell under the spell of the deceiving guy, knowing she is a lawyer and could have know better.  

Thinking you are the 'catch' will not always work to your advantage. 

The belief that Mr. Right will find you

Never wait for love.  You have to go out there, be seen and noticed!  Your Prince Charming could just be lurking in the next corner but if you are nowhere to be seen, you will miss your chance.

Embrace change in your life.  I am not talking about just changing your look.  A change in attitude will do you more good. Be more confident in your worth as a woman. 

Indeed, confidence is a tested men-magnet but you need to be out and about to flex your charms. Don't hide in the shadows and think Mr. Right will find you.


The myth that there are many fishes (a.k.a Single, Hot, Male lawyers) in the sea

In general, given a choice, men opt for younger women. This is just an undeniable natural selection theory in the works.  

If you are eyeing that same-age male associate, you can bet he will look for someone younger. 

In short, if you want to date a man in the same profession, seeking someone a few years older will be your best bet, not unless you look 10 years younger than your age.


I can spot 'real' from 'fake' love 

Fake love can look like the real deal.

Female brains often refuse to function logically when faced with a cute guy with the sweetest words made at the perfect time. 

Attractiveness plays a big role when it comes to choosing a potential partner

Years of practice nor knowledge of the law will not make you more intelligent when it comes to matters of the heart. 

Just like years of legal schooling will never give anyone breeding and manners. 

Be careful, no one has the monopoly in spotting real from fake love.  Some people are good at faking love, it takes years to unmask them.  

The crazy idea that you don't really need a man, just a sp** donor

My lady lawyer friends often say they don't need a man, they just need a baby daddy.  It is a bit selfish I think.  How about your future baby's right to a family or having a father figure to look up to? 

I know you are financially capable of rearing a child on your own but it takes more than that. 

If you have a mindset like this, you would only view a date as potential sperm donor, not a very good way to start any kind of relationship.

Finding a partner for the sole purpose of having a child will often not end well.  I think you are better off getting the same from a surrogate or the sperm bank.  

In summary, here are the 5 reasons to bust your chances of meeting Mr. Right;

#1  I am the catch
#2  Mr. Right will find me 
#3  There are too many fishes (single male lawyers) in the sea
#4  I can spot fake love miles away
#5  I don't need a man, just a baby

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You might wanna read...

On Being Single
I Tried Tinder and This Happened
Life with a Narcissist Series (1) : The Devious Idealization - Devaluation - Discarding Stages

Dadivas de Villanueva v. Villanueva, 54 Phil 93

"The law is not so unreasonable as to require a wife to live in marital relations with a husband whose incurable propensity towards other women makes common habitation with him unbearable...xxx"

My dears, this case happened even before World War 2, think 1927-ish era.  Nevertheless, the story seems familiar, in fact, this is still good case law as it is still cited in one of my Remedial law books.
 

Villanueva v. Villanueva
G.R.  No. L-33352

Facts

The wife (Aurelia Dadivas de Villanueva) files for support against the husband (Rafael Villanueva) to obtain separate maintenance as she decided to live separately from the marital home (a month before filing this case) due to the husband's cruelty and repeated infidelity with other women outside their marital ties. The wife also wants to obtain custody of their 2 younger children, aged 10 and 9 as well as reimbursement of attorney's fees incurred for this case.

It appears that during the ten years prior to the filing of this case, the defendant has been involved in illicit relations with four different women, including another different one while this case was pending.

The complainant for the purpose of keeping the marriage intact, continued to bear with the infidelity of the defendant. It was only on April 20, 1927 when due to the cruelty of the defendant, the complainant decided to live their conjugal home.

The Lower Court's decision

The lower court absolved the defendant husband and abrogated a previous order approving support, hence the wife's appeal to the Court of Appeals.  Said decision was later affirmed hence this appeal.

Issue

Whether the complainant is entitled to support (separate maintenance) on the ground of cruelty and marital infidelity.

Ruling

Yes. The complainant is entitled to support.

It was held by the Supreme Court that (to quote)

"The law is not so unreasonable as to require a wife to live in marital relations with a husband whose incurable propensity towards other women makes common habitation with him unbearable.

Deeply rooted instincts of human nature sanction the separation in such a case, and the law is not so unreasonable as to require as acquiescence on the part of the injured party which is beyond the capacity of nature.

Inn order to entitle a wife to maintain a separate home and to require separate maintenance from her husband it is not necessary that the husband should bring a concubine into the marital domicile. Perverse and illicit relations with women outside of the marital establishment are enough.

As was said by Justice Moreland in Goitia v. Campos Rueda (35 Phil 252, 262),  a husband cannot, by his own wrongful acts, relieve himself from the duty to support his wife imposed by law; and where a husband by wrongful, illegal, and unbearable conduct, drives his wife from the domicile fixed by him, he cannot take advantage of her departure to abrogate the law applicable to the marital relations and repudiate his duties thereunder.